Beaver Tail Soup

beaver tail soup ( I don't make this up)

The Lords of the Confederacy were required to eat cooked beaver's tail from a single bowl. They were not allowed to use sharp utensils... as stated in the constitution,

"For if they should, they might accidentally cut one another and bloodshed would follow."

As might be expected this bloodshed would create some dissension within the echelons. I suppose that cutting up someone during dinner of beaver tail soup would rate right up there with the other the other little indiscretions that caused problems in the ranks, along with raiding women from neighboring tribes, and debating whether to learn French or German as a second language.

The Lords were expected to toe the line, and were given warnings if they messed up, didn't follow rules, or refused to finish their beaver-tail soup. If the exalted ones were off the track, they would be given two warnings by women relatives, who were required to say:

" You have not heeded the warnings of the General Council of women.... all urging you to return to the right course of action..."

If the prominent individuals were not good listeners they would be deposed or clubbed to death, they would be required to go through the humiliation of being kicked out of the club... they would be told.

"Since you ... have refused to return to the Constitution, we now declare your seats vacant. We take off your horns, the token of your Lordship.".

The War Chief held (in his outstretched hand) a bunch of black wampum strings and would say to the erring Lords:

"So now, Lords of the Five United Nations, Since you are determined to resist and to withhold justice from your people there is only one course for us to adopt."

At this point the War Chief would drop the black wampum and the assembled Indians would club the erring Lords to death. We, being western oriented and deriving our stumbling process from the Parliamentary system, missed the boat on this possibility for inclusion in our Constitution as well )

Perhaps it is not too late to include this passage in our National Laws. I think that we would all welcome the sight of Congressional bodies, lying, beaten to death on the Rotunda floor. It would certainly improve the legislative process, and would speed up the Committees' seniority-based chairmanship procedure as well.

In our own constitution, whenever a great calamity threatens, we in the United States, are forced to go through an awkward and time consuming legislative process. In the event of national emergency, had we only listened to our indigenous brothers, we might have had the alternative of sending a representative, who could climb, to the top of the Tree of the Great Long Leaves. When our appointed representative reached the top of the tree he could look about in all directions, and, should he see that evil things indeed were approaching, then he could call to the people assembled beneath the Tree of the Great Long Leaves and say:

"A calamity threatens your happiness."

Under this plan, the combined families of the Vanderbilts, the Morgans, and the Kennedys would convene and discuss the impending evil and then would seek out the Tree of Ka-hon-ka-ah-go-nah, [a swamp Elm ], and assemble their heads together. They would lodge for a time between its roots and then, their labors being finished, they could hope for happiness for many days after.

next week " festivities"