LordshipQualifications of Lordship rest solely on getting a nomination from the women in your life. Titles were vested to certain prominent females of exalted ranking families. Wampum strings (two spans in length) were given to the matrons in charge. The right of bestowing the title was hereditary in any family of the women who legally possessed the bunch of shell strings, and the strings were the token that the females of the family had the proprietary right to the title for all time to come, subject to certain restrictions hereinafter mentioned. Certain defects in a guy made him ineligible to sit in the Council. Such defects included infancy, idiocy, blindness, deafness, dumbness, and impotency. "Dumbness", wasn't the same sort of dumbness that plagues our own Congress, and I should note that the Native Americans did not include stupidity or graft in their documents. Here again Franklin missed the boat in not having these clauses placed into our own document. It is our enduring misfortune and disgrace that, of all the outstanding concepts for self government which might have been conferred upon us by our Indian Brothers, that we did not seize upon this idea. If our Forefathers had listened to the Indians we could have expanded the concept to include sexual harassment, and written it immediately into our own Constitution. When a Lordship title was conferred, the candidate was required to furnish food, specifically cooked venison, and corn soup, "together with other necessary things." The Conferring Festival would, I suppose be an appropriate time to award the nominee his very own soft white feathery down globe thistle presentation pillow. I believe that a similar inclusion was considered for our country by Mr. Thomas Jefferson under the festivities section.
This inclusion was removed in the final draft by Mrs. Jefferson, along with the the, " Compulsory Female Entertainment", protocol. In section 42 we are again reminded by the Iroquois that belonging to one of the original Indian clans is a outstanding economic and political move, sort of like belonging to the Daughters of the American Revolution while being a thirty three degree Mason and a member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Just to assure that the social register is complete, the chosen clans are all named in the Iroquois Constitution. These cliques are vested as the sole owners of the country hold it constitutionally, as a birthright. Sadly for them the concept of title insurance was not widely accepted. Fourteen of the most important families are listed here, including notable tribes like the The Great Bears, The Ancient Bears, The Painted Turtles, The Large Plovers, The Pigeon Hawks, The Opposite-Side-of-the-Hands, The Wild Potatoes, and The Standing Rocks ( I think that these later formed a microbrew corporation of distinction). The Indian Constitution provides that when an infant is born, his name is announced at the Ripe Corn Festival. The uncle of the child is instructed to take the child in his arms and sing: "My head is firm, I am of the Confederacy." As he sings, the other Indians are required to respond by chanting, "Hyenh, Hyenh, Hyenh, Hyenh,". Well, that's what it says... (do you think I make this stuff up ? ) next beaver's tail soup |